"How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Lowndes

This is a how to book by an author whose other works are about male/female relationship building (if you know what I mean).

While not the most compelling bit of literature or scientific study, there are some things that are of interest.

Here are some that I think you should know:

1. Here is someone who notes how important first impressions are. I agree. An interesting comment on body language is that she recommends not touching your face. I think that is right. In any business setting it is unsettling to the other party.

2. Get introductions. I call these in business, warm calls. Introductions from others is much, much better. Also, when first meeting someone, don’t complain about some topic. Be positive.

3. Small talk is important. Yes it is. Rapport building sets the right tone. Find some common ground. Be Professional. Listen. Ask Questions.

4. Favors. Don’t ask for something in return. (Give and Take?)

5. Pitching business. Be upfront about your interests too. Don’t only focus on the benefits to the other party. That is disingenuous.

6. Preparation is everything. Prep the FAQs.

7. Phone Skills. Interesting data point is that people lose 30% of their voice’s energy when on the phone. Speak up. I suggest you stand when on the phone to get a deeper voice.

Please feel free to comment on any of these recommendations and suggest other sources that might be helpful.

"Granted" Newsletter, May 2018 by Adam Grant

In this month's "Granted" newsletter, Adam Grant brings us articles about: the top traits of the best problem solving teams, how to pick the career you are best fit for, the importance of curiosity, and personality quizzes that are actually based in science. Click on each article title to read more. You can subscribe to the "Granted" newsletter here.

Granted: May 2018

The next time someone criticizes you and says, “Feedback is a gift,” resist the temptation to ask where the returns and exchanges department is. And now, some articles worth keeping:

1. The Two Traits of the Best Problem-Solving Teams

You want teams that are cognitively diverse and psychologically safe. A variety of thinking styles—coupled with the freedom to take risks without being punished—enables groups to generate, test, and implement creative ideas.

2. How to Pick a Career (That Actually Fits You) The drop from naive overconfidence to realistic humility rarely feels good, but it’s a necessary step toward wisdom.

3. Is Curiosity As Good at Predicting Children's Reading, Math Success as Self-Control? Study Says Yes The joy of discovery matters as much as self-control, and matters even more for low-income children. We need to encourage kids to ask novel questions, not just give familiar answers. 4. Most Personality Quizzes Are Junk Science. I Found One That Isn't

"The MBTI is astrology for nerds." Say it with me again: personality types are a myth, traits are on a continuum, and the major dimensions include extravert-introvert, agreeable-disagreeable, reactive-stable, open-traditional, conscientious-spontaneous. (And there’s growing momentum for a sixth: honesty/humility.)

But this article on what your MBTI type says about your willingness to take the MBTI is absolutely hilarious…

• INTJ: instead of taking the MBTI, you write a long post on why you refuse to take it.

• ENFP: you set up a GoFundMe campaign so Honduran schoolchildren you’ve never met can experience the joy of discovering their Myers-Briggs types.

• INTP: you take the Hogwarts Sorting Hat Test and the BuzzFeed quiz “What kind of potato are you?” then analyze the patterns in Excel.

From My Desk:

5. The Little Psychological Tricks That Will Make Your Marriage HappierIf you know someone who's always late, stop trying to convince them to show up on time. Instead, follow my wife Allison’s lead and ask: "Will you be late today?" Intention questions set the stage for people to persuade themselves. Which is why I'm now on time at least once a week.

6. My Debate With Malcolm Gladwell

My first question: what occupation has the most insight into human behavior? He makes the case for teachers and principals, but I stand by comedians: I've learned as much about psychology from watching Seinfeld and The Office as from 15 years in the classroom. We spar on what makes ideas interesting, how to avoid undesirable tasks, and why he insists on rooting against the underdog.

Cheers, Adam

Adam Grant, Ph.D.

Author of ORIGINALS and GIVE AND TAKE, coauthor of OPTION B, and Wharton professor.

Do you have any thoughts on these topics? Please leave a comment below

"Granted" Newsletter, February 2018 by Adam Grant

In this month's "Granted" newsletter, Adam Grant brings us articles about: the important of "deep fun" for an engaged work environment, new thinking on the importance of will power, why you should deliver bad news first, why people really quit their jobs and key trait that Einstein, da Vinci and Steve Jobs had in common. Click on each article title to read more. You can subscribe to the "Granted" newsletter here.

Granted: February 2018

We spend a quarter of our lives at work. It’s time to make all that time worth our time. So I’m launching WorkLife, a new podcast with TED. In each episode, I’ll take you inside the minds of some fascinating people in some truly unconventional places.

They’ve all mastered something I wish everyone else could know—from an award-winning room of TV writers who do creativity under the gun to a basketball team that beats the odds by building a culture of humility. Click here to listen to the trailer, then subscribe below to be the first to listen when it debuts on February 28th.

1. The Importance of Deep Fun

The best places to work don't need ping-pong and foosball tables; playing games is shallow fun. You want deep fun: working with people who stretch your thinking to solve problems that are novel, hard, and important. 2. Why Willpower Is Overrated A key to self-control: structuring your life so you don't have to use self-control. Good habits let you rely less on willpower.

3. Why You Should Always Deliver the Bad News First When we're giving feedback, we deliver the good news before the bad news, but receivers prefer the opposite. Choose the sequence that lifts people up instead of bringing them down. 4. Force Overtime? Or Go for the Win?

The Eagles won the Super Bowl with some gutsy play-calling. (“Touchdown catch, Nick Foles” is a sentence I never thought I’d hear.) Two days earlier, a team of behavioral scientists foreshadowed why that’s exactly what the evidence favors. If your decisions are motivated by the fear of losing, you’re less likely to win. In the long run, the riskiest way to live is to never take a risk.

From My Desk:

5. Why People Really Quit Their Jobs New data on how great managers keep their people: (1) design meaningful projects, (2) invite employees to use their strengths, and (3) help them move forward at work without taking steps backward at home.

6. The One Key Trait that Einstein, da Vinci, and Steve Jobs Had in Common

My chat with Walter Isaacson about how a key to creativity is curiosity across disciplines. You don't have to master every subject, but you can appreciate the beauty of it. When Einstein was struggling with calculus, he took out his violin and played Mozart.

If you have any burning questions that you’d love to see us explore in WorkLife, feel free to submit them here (newsletter@adamgrant.net) , then subscribe here to follow along with new episodes as they're released.

I'll be back answering more questions from Wondering next month.

Cheers, Adam

Adam Grant, Ph.D.

Author of ORIGINALS and GIVE AND TAKE, coauthor of OPTION B, and Wharton professor.

Do you have any thoughts on these topics? Please leave a comment below