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Chapter 1:

  • we spend 24 min/hr selling…. Always, everyday

  • when people say sales, the adjective that comes to mind are pushy, smarmy, sleazy etc.

  • Sales can be a beautiful thing.

  • When people picture sales, 100% of the time they see a MAN! In a checkered blazer. Used cars, etc.

  • We have spent human existence in INFORMATION ASYMMETRY. Where the seller knew more than the buyer.

  • In the last 20 years Buyers now know more than Sellers!!!


  • Attunement: Seeing it through the other persons eyes. So very important.

  • E test! What is your PERSPECTIVE?

  • People with power need to dial it back to be most effective.

  • The EMPTY CHAIR exercise. Add an empty chair to the meeting to represent the client. What would they say?

Chapter 3: CLARITY

  • Persuasion:

    • PAST: salesman had access to information no one else had = EXPERTISE

    • NOW: client has as much or more information.

    • Salesman's job is to CURATE the information. Make sense of it.

  • Past: Client wanted problem solving

  • Now: Client wants problem finding ( Challenger Sales

  • DP: 5 Whys? Ask like an annoying 4 yr old. KK: Tell me more.

  • Less is more:

    • We overvalue Additional information.

    • We undervalue Subtraction.

  • 3 is most info a client wants.

    • 4th argument is confusing. Cognition load is 3.



Get them to do it for themselves.

  • Summon their own reasons for doing it.

  • Agitate, don't irritate.

  • Ask 2 irrational questions. Be armed with social proof.

  • Always have data , numbers as to what others are doing.



EG: Food drive. Break groups into Inclined to participate, and not inclined to participate.

Send general message/specific message that had name and instructions.


  • not inclined + general message = 0%

  • inclined + general message = 8%

  • inclined + specific message = 44%

  • not inclined+ specific message = 25%

If you want to make someone do something, make it easy!

Lesson: we over weigh personality and under weigh context.

Chapter 8: MIMICKING

It works. Watch /Wait/Wane..Pick up on something they do and wait 10 seconds and imitate.

Chapter 9: FRAMING

Understand the cognitive biases.

  1. Loss aversion. We react more to a loss than to a gain.

  2. Opportunity Costs. This is a bizarre bias. Once the money is spent, it is a different set of questions. But people respond to it!

  3. Anchoring Bias.

    1. EG: Two groups shown wheel of fortune. One shown 10, the other 65. When asked how many African countries are in the UN, first group averaged 25, the second 45. (there are 53). What we hear first impacts us. Set the terms of the discussion.

  4. Blemish Frame:

    1. Long lists of positives don’t work.

    2. Long list of benefits compared to a small negative is much more impactful

  5. Potential Frame

    1. Buyers overvalue potential.

      1. This is important for job interviews.

    2. Create sense of uncertainty.

Chapter 10: SUNK COSTS

People overvalue sunk costs. Buyer and sellers should be aware of this.


Effective pitches invite the other side into a conversation.

  1. Question Pitch.

    1. Are you better off today than 4 yrs ago. Reagan.

      1. Must have the answer that fits the question.

  2. Rhyme Pitch:

    1. Rhyme increases “Processing Fluency”

    2. "If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit”

  3. PIXAR PITCH, tell a STORY:

    1. Once Upon A Time….

    2. Everyday…..

    3. ONE DAY….

    4. Because of that….

    5. Then Because of THAT…


This worthwhile article gets one to consider the biases that happen when working over video. The setting is different, and we act/react in ways that take some shortcuts and impact our decision making.

  1. Confirmation Bias – The belief in one’s own view. We search for data/information that supports our view.

    1. Ways to counteract:

      1. Ask colleagues to Individually evaluate the decision.

      2. Gather all the data.

      3. Get a Devil’s advocate.

  2. Attribution Bias- The tendency to disproportionately attribute behavior of others to character traits rather than situational influences.

    1. Ways to counteract:

      1. Slow down. Reflect.

      2. Consider: Have you been in that situation yourself.

      3. Look for 3 explanations.

  3. Group Think- Zoom has people quieter. Can’t talk over each other as easily.Meetings are domination by a few. Often the group is too homogeneous.

    1. Ways to counteract:

      1. Pick a small heterogeneous group.

      2. Create room for independent thought. Use breaks.

      3. Create breakout rooms for separate thought.

  4. In-Group Effect- Video has sanitized meetings. We miss the group dynamic, the informal spontaneous interactions.

    1. Ways to counteract:

      1. Have meeting rituals. Encourage everyone to speak up/ update on latest goings on.

      2. Do personal check ins.

      3. Find ways to be creative in team building.

  5. Peak End Effect – Most meetings are about results and don’t focus on the processes or methodology.

    1. Ways to counteract:

      1. Account for individual work preferences. Allow for greater flexibility in working hours.

      2. Plan regular performance evaluations.

      3. Actively inquire as to the path taken to reach specific results.

Read the article here for further insights from the authors.

Do you have any thoughts on these topics? Please leave a comment below

Wow. Fantastic read that is completely applicable to sales and ALL interactions. Chris was head FBI hostage negotiator and takes us through the psychology of the bad guys. But it is the empathy and understanding of the other sides perspective that is important here. It is the same in sales. Chris gives a ton of practical tips and tricks. THIS IS A MUST READ

A few key takeaways:

  • Listening. It must be active. Mirror: Reflect back on what you hear. Use Silence as a tool.

  • Summarize regularly. Say “that’s right”, not “yes”.

  • Forget getting to Yes.Focus on NO. That is where negotiation starts.

  • Form your questions around “HOW” and “WHAT” questions.These open-ended questions force the other side to think, reflect.

  • Identify the three to five key pieces of information that the client mentions. There is a Black Swan in there.

Please feel free to comment on any of these recommendations and suggest other sources that might be helpful.

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